Fly Me To The Moon
(Growing Pains Theme Song)

So I'm sitting at the airport getting ready to fly out to beautiful Minneapolis, MN. If you're not familiar with Minneapolis, it's where fun goes to retire and die. I've been travelling to MN for the past 6 months for what might be one of the worst projects I've ever been on. Poorly managed, most unreasonable clients and the worst team ever assembled. Not to mention the location. But I'm not here to bitch and complain about work. I'm here to tell you how to keep busy on a shitty project.

One of the things I've been doing to keep myself entertained while on travel is seeing how much stuff I could take (steal) from the hotel before they start charging me.

The first week I started off with just soap, shampoo, conditioner.

By the 3rd week I was taking the following :

soap, shampoo, conditioner, hand lotion, bath gel, sewing kit, shoe polish kit, fuzzy slippers, embroidered laundry and shoe bags, qtips, pens, pads and of course fancy tea bags from the free lobby breakfast. I don't even drink tea!

After several months of this, I had so much stuff, I didn't know where to keep it in my condo. So I started making little care packages for my friends and family. The care package usually consisted of a laundry bag, a couple of slippers, a sewing kit, a shoe polish kit, shampoo, conditioner and lotion.

I've noticed lately however, my room is being stocked less and less with the goodies I've been taking. I haven't seen a sewing kit, the nice pens or a shoe polish kit in over a month. Maybe they're on to me.

Outside of entertaining myself, I always have the client entertaining me with absurd requests.

Just the other day the client asked me if they could re-brand our company software with their own logo. He sent me this as a sample.



At first I thought he was joking. Until he brought it up in one of our status meetings with a straight face.

Last I heard he was filming a rap video with him in a hot tub surrounded by naked women, fancy champagne and people throwing Benjamins around.